i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
