So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
