Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
