Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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