sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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