fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
