guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
