She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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