You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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