I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
