i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
wat bout pragnant strippers??
tell your sister to shave her snatch
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
