I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
