Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
