Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
