she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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