i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
