Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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