i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
