No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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