i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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