I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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