Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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