that's an acceptable place to lick
someone owes me an orgasm
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
