Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
