Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
