i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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