I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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