I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
