I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You took a bar mat shot.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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