Kiss
Puke
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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