To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
