All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
