I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
