tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We left the knife in your bed.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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