im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
