For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
