I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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