You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I feel like death gave me a hand job
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
