"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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