Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
