I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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