They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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