I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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