I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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