I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
