dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
