I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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