I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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