can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
