I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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